Sometimes, just telling you how, when, and where to stroke isn’t enough for me. Your hands may even be starting to predict what I might tell them to do next. If you’ve spent time with many different Mistresses, you’ve probably used your hands 100 different ways on My cock.

This time is going to be different.

Your hands are totally out of the equation, even for the application of lube. You’ll have to come up with something else!

Don’t look so disheartened! There’s plenty of ways to get yourself off without the use of hands (and yes, silly man, a hand holding a masturbation toy totally counts as using your hands). I’ll bet you can get plenty creative on your own, but here’s a few ideas of mine:

• Hump your bed or pillow. Might be a bit messy at the end, but you’re man enough to do laundry, right? I hope you have nice, soft sheets, or you might have to spill some lube on them to avoid chaffing!
• This one is one of my favorites: stroke against the floor. I imagine this only works with carpet, though if you have success on hardwood, I’d love to hear about it! So naughty! Make sure to use a patch of carpet outside your normal tread…nobody likes stepping in the wet spot!
• This one isn’t meant too seriously, but I bet some of you pervs will still try it! If you’re of my generation, there’s one scene from “American Pie” you will never forget: the pie! Find some food, be it a pie, a tub of yogurt, whatever, that you can stick that prick of yours in. Bonus points if you can lick it off yourself at the end!

What did you try? Do you have more ideas for nontraditional, hands-free ways to get yourself off? Leave a comment and tell Me all about it!

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